Shed Your Head: Real men don't slash tires.Scott Bronsontag:blog.rinspin.com,2005:TypoTypo2006-05-15T07:00:43-07:00bronsonurn:uuid:fc16895a-d92c-48d9-970b-20c2a2ede1e12005-11-05T23:15:00-08:002006-05-15T07:00:43-07:00Real men don't slash tires.<p>Why did my left rear tire get slashed some time on Wednesday? It was parked near Brennan and Eve’s house on a nice suburban street. Where do these lowlifes come from?</p>
<p>Then somebody, possibly the same person, phoned the police on Thursday asking to have an abandoned car towed. My car. That I’d parked there Tuesday morning. Since a car must remain a week before it gets towed, the caller clearly lied about how long I’d been parked there.</p>
<p>A few days ago, while unsuccessfully replacing the fuel pump, I found one of Brennan’s business cards under the floor mat and chucked it onto the dash to throw away later. The cops investigating the complaint saw the card and called Brennan. They said that if the card weren’t there, the Rover would have been towed on Friday afternoon. A few hours before I returned from Winters. The license plate is on the car, the registration is current, why can’t they just call me? Why does random coincidence have to save my butt?</p>
<p>Thanks to the police, I do know who called in the complaint. Mr. NextDoorNeighbor, it’s pretty stupid to give anonymous tips from your home phone! I don’t know if you are the person who slashed my tire, but I do know that you are the person who lied about how long I was parked there. I admit, I’m baffled. You don’t seem like the sort of person who would perjur himself over such a petty thing. Were you just having a bad day or something?</p>
<p>Unfortunately, you’re lucky. I need to leave for Tehachapi tonight and won’t be back for at least 6 months so I don’t get to confront you about the lie. If you DID slash my tire, I can only hope that karma pays attention to what you have done.</p>
<p>Now I’m 0 for 2 in the justice department. Criminy.</p><p>Why did my left rear tire get slashed some time on Wednesday? It was parked near Brennan and Eve’s house on a nice suburban street. Where do these lowlifes come from?</p>
<p>Then somebody, possibly the same person, phoned the police on Thursday asking to have an abandoned car towed. My car. That I’d parked there Tuesday morning. Since a car must remain a week before it gets towed, the caller clearly lied about how long I’d been parked there.</p>
<p>A few days ago, while unsuccessfully replacing the fuel pump, I found one of Brennan’s business cards under the floor mat and chucked it onto the dash to throw away later. The cops investigating the complaint saw the card and called Brennan. They said that if the card weren’t there, the Rover would have been towed on Friday afternoon. A few hours before I returned from Winters. The license plate is on the car, the registration is current, why can’t they just call me? Why does random coincidence have to save my butt?</p>
<p>Thanks to the police, I do know who called in the complaint. Mr. NextDoorNeighbor, it’s pretty stupid to give anonymous tips from your home phone! I don’t know if you are the person who slashed my tire, but I do know that you are the person who lied about how long I was parked there. I admit, I’m baffled. You don’t seem like the sort of person who would perjur himself over such a petty thing. Were you just having a bad day or something?</p>
<p>Unfortunately, you’re lucky. I need to leave for Tehachapi tonight and won’t be back for at least 6 months so I don’t get to confront you about the lie. If you DID slash my tire, I can only hope that karma pays attention to what you have done.</p>
<p>Now I’m 0 for 2 in the justice department. Criminy.</p>